The real list.

Love this.

Sums up my life perfectly.

be happy.

...and you are driving up to the courthouse with your stomach in knots. you make your way up the stairs wondering who is watching you, and wondering if they happen to know what you are there for. you sit outside the courtroom praying that no one sees you, and that your mom was there beside you. he shows up. your stomach is in bigger knots. you think you are a failure, but you know you deserve better. you make yourself inside that lonely, cold courtroom. you tell the judge what he wants to hear, yet on the inside you are wanting to yell out your side of the story. you want the judge to understand why you are doing something you never in your life wanted to do. you want him to know you just want to be happy and loved to the fullest, and this isn't making you feel that way. you know he'd understand, but you sit back down without saying a word. he talks. you wish you had your mom and dad and brothers and miranda and the rest of the world standing right behind you because you've never needed to be more strong than right now. you fight back tears that have been falling for the past four months. one falls. you wipe it away fast so that no one knows how much this hurts you to be at this point in your life. you walk back out of that courtroom. you go back to your car, and you cry outloud. you pray once again, this time for the hope that your life will be good again soon.

and then you go on with your day. you tell people that things went well for you that morning. you go home that night. you go to bed alone again.

you wake up, and do the same thing the next day. you smile. you work. you tell people you are doing fine.

and then one day, after many nights of waking up alone, things do start getting better.

you realize exactly why you are at this moment in your life, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

you start smiling out of truth instead of denial. you start laughing out loud when you see your family and friends.

you start feeling good about your life and the things you have.

you know you are the person you've always wanted to be, and you look forward to sharing that with someone just as wonderful.

...and you realize you are happy again.

and so is your heart.

more days like this.

It's 11:35 and I'm going to bed with a smile on my face.

I had some s'mores. I tried to start a campfire, and I hung out with someone who put that smile on my face.

That's a good day.

I could use more of those.