That girl.

..I wanna be that girl to give you smiles, and laughter, and love notes, and all the love i have to give.

Most importantly, I wanna give you that story to tell.

loving on...

this summer was full of ups.

and downs.

but either way it was a great summer to buy some toys to replenish my love for all things photography related...

some of my favorite pieces include..

my KETTI camera bag.

so in love with this.

and so stylish.

and so thankful for my great friend miranda for this amazing birthday gift.

my new 24-105mm L-series lens. yes..it is freakin' amazing.

my new wide format polaroid.

it joins my other two, but this one is just so much more easy to buy film for.

even if it looks like i'm hauling a toy around.

What are your favorite summer purchases?

And they told her...

Never

Never

Never

Give up.

You can begin anywhere.

Dear you,

Call me at midnight just to say hello. Let's go camping in your pickup on a Thursday night just because we can. Lets build a campfire at dawn and snuggle up to each other until we absolutely have to let our day begin. Teach me your crafts. Let me sing songs loudly to the radio as we drive aimlessly around town. Let's get slushies together every chance we get. Let's build forts out of furniture and act like we are 12 again. Leave me notes wherever you can. Buy me a drink if mine is almost gone. Let me play with your hair until you fall asleep. Remind me every chance you get if you miss me. Miss me, please? Ask me about my day. Take me out to eat. Introduce me to every person who means something to you if given the chance. Teach me to drive stick shift. Don't make a funny face when I wanna take your picture. Let me be artsy-it's what I love. Ask me how my family is. Let me get to know yours. Be ok with doing nothing. Surprise me at work. Let me fall in love with your dimples. Let me in. Tell me who you are and why you are that person. Lets get dusty and dirty together, i'm ok with that. Always kiss me hello, and then goodbye, and any other chance you'd like in the middle. Rent my favorite movie when I'm sick. Hold my hand. Dance with me when we get the chance. Let yourself learn from my dad when you can. Kiss me at the grocery store if you want to. Let me travel with you when you have to go somewhere, I promise to keep you company. Say please and thank-you. Tell me about your bad days, along with the good ones. Make me laugh..outloud. Come over at 3.34 just because you couldn't wait a minute longer. Love me passionately. Wake me at 2 in the morning just to watch the rain fall. Let me get to know your friends. Help my mom when you can. Hold the door open. Take walks with me. Don't get mad when I ask you questions. Rub my back when we are cuddling on the couch. Look at me with those beautiful eyes whenever you can, I adore them. Lets go swimming in the middle of the night. Never let the little things go.

Love me for absolutely everything thing that I am.

Whoever you are...

I'm ready for all of this.

Are you?

Love, me.

The real list.

Love this.

Sums up my life perfectly.

be happy.

...and you are driving up to the courthouse with your stomach in knots. you make your way up the stairs wondering who is watching you, and wondering if they happen to know what you are there for. you sit outside the courtroom praying that no one sees you, and that your mom was there beside you. he shows up. your stomach is in bigger knots. you think you are a failure, but you know you deserve better. you make yourself inside that lonely, cold courtroom. you tell the judge what he wants to hear, yet on the inside you are wanting to yell out your side of the story. you want the judge to understand why you are doing something you never in your life wanted to do. you want him to know you just want to be happy and loved to the fullest, and this isn't making you feel that way. you know he'd understand, but you sit back down without saying a word. he talks. you wish you had your mom and dad and brothers and miranda and the rest of the world standing right behind you because you've never needed to be more strong than right now. you fight back tears that have been falling for the past four months. one falls. you wipe it away fast so that no one knows how much this hurts you to be at this point in your life. you walk back out of that courtroom. you go back to your car, and you cry outloud. you pray once again, this time for the hope that your life will be good again soon.

and then you go on with your day. you tell people that things went well for you that morning. you go home that night. you go to bed alone again.

you wake up, and do the same thing the next day. you smile. you work. you tell people you are doing fine.

and then one day, after many nights of waking up alone, things do start getting better.

you realize exactly why you are at this moment in your life, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

you start smiling out of truth instead of denial. you start laughing out loud when you see your family and friends.

you start feeling good about your life and the things you have.

you know you are the person you've always wanted to be, and you look forward to sharing that with someone just as wonderful.

...and you realize you are happy again.

and so is your heart.

more days like this.

It's 11:35 and I'm going to bed with a smile on my face.

I had some s'mores. I tried to start a campfire, and I hung out with someone who put that smile on my face.

That's a good day.

I could use more of those.